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A List of Don'ts for Women on Bicycles circa 1895 | Brain Pickings

nevver:

• Don’t be a fright.
• Don’t faint on the road.
• Don’t wear a man’s cap.
• Don’t wear tight garters.
• Don’t forget your toolbag
• Don’t attempt a “century.”
• Don’t coast. It is dangerous.
• Don’t boast of your long rides.
• Don’t criticize people’s “legs.”
• Don’t wear loud hued leggings.
• Don’t cultivate a “bicycle face.”
• Don’t refuse assistance up a hill.
• Don’t wear clothes that don’t fit.
• Don’t neglect a “light’s out” cry.
• Don’t wear jewelry while on a tour.
• Don’t race. Leave that to the scorchers.
• Don’t wear laced boots. They are tiresome.
• Don’t imagine everybody is looking at you.
• Don’t scream if you meet a cow. If she sees you first, she will run.

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Let’s see how I’ve done.

• Don’t be a fright. Farmer’s tan was frightful.
• Don’t faint on the road. Haven’t fainted, have barfed.
• Don’t wear a man’s cap. Man’s helmet.
• Don’t wear tight garters. The tightest. Commando.
• Don’t forget your toolbag. Finally, got one right!
• Don’t attempt a “century.” That’s a few centuries too many.
• Don’t coast. It is dangerous. And fun.
• Don’t boast of your long rides. Violating that RIGHT NOW!
• Don’t criticize people’s “legs.” Too many violations to count.
• Don’t wear loud hued leggings. Ah but what if they have flames painted on them?
• Don’t cultivate a “bicycle face.”  Will have to check photos, but outlook not good.
• Don’t refuse assistance up a hill. I’d never refuse the comforts of the sag wagon.
• Don’t wear clothes that don’t fit. Bicycle shorts “fit” no one.
• Don’t neglect a “light’s out” cry. Huh?
• Don’t wear jewelry while on a tour. Except for those hoops on the ride into Montana.
• Don’t race. Leave that to the scorchers. Or be a scorcher.
• Don’t wear laced boots. They are tiresome. What if they’re silver and velcro?
• Don’t imagine everybody is looking at you. They’re not???
• Don’t scream if you meet a cow. If she sees you first, she will run. With me.